New Year New Beginning

December 30, 2019 by Laurie Stroud

Parenting Points

True beauty is found in beginning again. Deep in the core of our faith stands a longing for a new beginning when all wrongs will be made right, tears will be wiped away, and Jesus will make “all things new” (Revelation 21:5 ESV). We long for the return of King Jesus and eternity to come, the promised end of our great journey with God and what we were made for.

One of the often-missed elements of the Advent season, which we just celebrated last month, is as the Old Testament followers of God longed for the Messiah’s first appearing, we as modern-day Christians should long for the Messiah’s ultimate return. The scriptures point us to a posture of looking up and “waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ” (Titus 2:13 ESV). We are looking and longing for the ultimate new beginning. As we begin the new beginning of a New Year, we find ourselves surrounded by people trying to be different and bring change into their lives. Maybe that is eating a few less cheeseburgers or spending more time as a family together. In the middle of everyone trying to bring change to their lives and be better for 2020, we must remember these three truths:

Jesus brings transformational change. Our culture would tell us that success comes from our own effort, strength, and wisdom. Yet as Christians, we know that true and abiding transformation is something that comes from outside of us. Jesus is the One who can truly bring change and transformation to our lives and families. Let us seek Him for His transforming work.

Our hope ultimately is in heaven. Though losing a few pounds or spending more time with family are not bad goals, they are not where we should place our hope. Despite your best efforts to be healthy, you will eventually grow old and die. Even the best family relationships are still scarred and broken by sin. We must place our hope in the place where hope can truly be found.

Looking up and longing should be the posture of the Christian. Let us be people who look up and long for Jesus. Like the son waits by the window for dad to come home, let us be people who look towards the sky for the Rescuer to come and make all things new.

– Ben Birdsong

Writer, Speaker, Minister

www.benbirdsong.com

December 28, 2019 by Laurie Stroud

Special Feature

“The desire to live a life pleasing to Jesus and serve Him joyfully expresses our love for Him. This is only possible when His life becomes more important than our own.”

OUCH! Does this step on your toes like it did mine? A dear friend shared this with me one morning, and it put me in a place of wonder. I am wondering if I am genuinely serving joyfully. Do I please Him in all I do? Does my life show His importance?

As 2020 begins, it’s a great time to evaluate life and what is taking precedence in your daily walk. 2019 has been a great year, and I saw God move in many different ways in my life; however, am I genuinely showing others (including my family) that His life is more important than mine?

I will admit that somedays, I do not serve joyfully. I let schedules and frustrations rob me of serving my family. I let these components in life take over and take precedence in my life, which in turn knocks the one and only true God out of my daily schedule, and my eyes then become focused on the world. Oh, how the enemy loves for this to happen.

Once we leave Him out one day, we will find excuses for it to happen again and again, and eventually, a month has gone by, and we have not opened the Word for ourselves. When we leave Him out, we are making our lives more important than His – the one who came and died on the cross for our sins. Each day we have a decision to wake up and live for Him. Each day we have a choice to wake up and show Him and others our love for Him. Each day you have a decision to pick up your cross and follow Him.

With our busy schedules, work, and all that life throws at us, we must make His life more important than our own. Be guided by the Word, and daily show others the joy you have in serving a God who went to the cross for our sins. Join us for Connecting Women Conference: Joy! Let us all walk away refocused on Christ and finding Joy in the everyday.

-Cheryl Goss

Founder of Connecting Ministries, host of the February 21-22 women’s conference, “Joy” at the Lyric Theatre, Birmingham, Ala. Featured speakers include Cheryl Goss, Sheila Walsh and Kim Hargett.For more details and to register visit www.connectingministries.org, founded to come alongside churches, organizations, and individuals, equipping and empowering them to live out God’s Word.

December 28, 2019 by Laurie Stroud

Best Books

Sometimes we slay the giants that defy the rule of God. We cast our stones and the monstrosities which defy Christ and his kingdom buckle and fall. We fight a good fight, we keep the faith, and evil crashes in defeat. But what happens when we sling our stones and Goliath doesn’t fall? What if we find ourselves being chased by giants across the valleys of institutional injustice and idolatrous ideologies? What if we simply grow weary in well-doing?

Donna Barber’s new book, Bread for the Resistance -40 Devotions for Justice People (Intervarsity Press), is written for those who are weary from the battle. Whether you’re a minister, public servant or simply a disciple of Jesus who takes the teachings of Jesus seriously, Bread for the Resistance will refresh your spirit and strengthen your resolve to be faithful to your call. When results seem elusive and wickedness in high places fails to fall, Barber’s words of encouragement remind us that God has not called us to win battles. He has called us to be faithful. Keep writing, speaking, and praying. Keep speaking prophetically to the powerful. Keep preaching the good news of the Kingdom. Bread for the Resistance is a call to stand fast if you can’t walk, run or soar. Don’t give up. Jesus is still the King of kings and the Lord of lords. You may lose some battles, but He will win the war. If you go down, go down preaching.

Screen Shot 2019 12 28 at 2.46.49 PM — Donna Barber’s new release Bread for the Resistance, is available at Sanctuary Christian Books and Gifts in Alabaster. Barber is co-founder of The Voices Project, “an organization that influences culture through training and promoting leaders of color,” www.voices-project.org.

Several years ago, a politician who believed that the Christian faith compels us to engage in matters of social justice lost an election. The politician, known for carrying a New Testament at all times, ended the last speech of his political life with a quote from the Apostle Paul. “Let us not grow weary in doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.” It was an exemplary moment for all who work and minister in God’s kingdom. Be faithful in victory, be faithful in defeat. Don’t lose heart, don’t stop doing good, and never lose hope. In the end, we win.

–Darrel Holcombe, Owner
Sanctuary Christian Books and Gifts
Colonial Promenade, Alabaster

205-663-2370

December 28, 2019 by Laurie Stroud

Best Books

Screen Shot 2019 12 28 at 2.24.50 PM — *I Am a Field* is available from NewHopePublishers.com or your favorite retailer.

God can seem hard to understand. So can you. So can I. Add to that what God’s doing in us and who we’re meant to be in the world, and it’s easy for a typical Jesus-follower to feel a bit lost. I Am a Field by Jeff Davenport was written to help you get a sense of who God is, who you are, and what God’s doing in you… through the Biblical metaphor of God being like a farmer and your life being like a field. It’s also full of stories, conversational language, and hopefully some funny bits.

Who’s it for? It’s for the auto insurance broker in Tulsa who’s been following Jesus since he was twelve. It’s for the soccer mom in Des Moines who’s realizing day-to-day life is lulling her faith to sleep. It’s for the college kid in Philadelphia who’s just coming to know Jesus and is unsure of what that journey will look like. If you’re wanting to get a better sense of what God is growing inside your life, I Am a Field is for you. †

December 28, 2019 by Laurie Stroud

Senior Scene

Elderlaw attorney John Holliman dancing with a Brookdale residents at the “Western Party.”

The New Year always brings new goals no matter your age. Most goals center around eating healthier or exercising more. However, residents at Brookdale University Park execute this goal on a daily basis, since physical activity is one of the six dimensions of our Optimum Life Model. Studies show exercise and physical activity influence how well we age. And fitness even supports brain health! As we age, we are less active. By age 75 one in three men and one in two women do not engage in physical activity. According to the World Health Organization, inactivity is the cause of approximately 3.2 million deaths per year. The good news is that a little goes a long way. Twenty minutes of exercise, like walking, can act as an anti-inflammatory. And 25 minutes of moderate physical activity per day, plus strength training twice a week (including yoga), will meet the government’s fitness recommendations.

At Brookdale, Raphael McIlwain, Assisted Living Resident Programs Coordinator leads “B-Fit” exercise daily with our residents. It offers a well-rounded workout for our residents as well as a modified version for those who have limited mobility. “We have fun with our exercise every day. Several of the ladies really love to exercise and one, Janet McCroire, even takes the lead for one particular part of our program!” In addition to “B-Fit,” Brookdale offers many dancing opportunities including line dancing on Saturdays, a walking club and many more programs to keep our residents healthy and on the move!

Screen Shot 2019 12 28 at 2.05.49 PM — Resident Jane McCroire takes the lead in Brookdale’s “B-Fit” exercise classes.

-Leanne Messer

Brookdale University Park

Call Leanne at 205-870-0786 to learn more and schedule a tour.

An Invitation to Experience Brookdale

Residents of Brookdale University Park enjoy an engaging lifestyle with a selection of care options to meet changing needs. The community conveniently located off Lakeshore Drive offers a full continuum of care, including independent living, assisted living, Alzheimer’s and dementia care and skilled nursing and rehabilitation. Call 205-870-0786 to connect with one of our team members who would be delighted to help you plan your personal visit, www.brookdale.com. †

April 25, 2023December 27, 2019 by Laurie Stroud

Expo save the date banner featured image

Special Feature

Here’s a snapshot of just some of the fun, free activities taking place at the Celebrate the Family Expo! Saturday January 11, 2020 from 9 a.m.-3 p.m. at the Hoover Met Complex’s Finley Center.

1. A “Herd” of Chick-fil-A Cows will be on hand to greet guests, take pics and share goodies.

2. Meet Mickey & Minnie, Elsa and Paw Patrols’ Chase and Skye! The cast will take pictures, sign autographs and perform at 11 a.m. and 1 p.m. a sneak peak of their upcoming Characters on Parade Performance February 22, 2020. The characters are a part of the Just Keep Smiling ministry that assists families with children in medical crisis.

3. Kids’ Zone courtesy Deborah’s Party Rentals will include an 18 Foot Slide, Bounce House, and Interactive Mickey Park Learning Club. Plus Face Painting by Painted Personalities!

4. Live music including performances by Kevin Derryberry and Marc Phillips, local choirs and more.

5. Free Face Painting by Painted Personalities.

6. Special private lounge area just for nursing moms courtesy of St. Vincent’s Nursing Nook.

7. Meet and greet with Birmingham Christian Family(BCF) past cover stories and special guests like Hoover Mayor Frank Brocato.

8. Enjoy product and food samples including sampling and voting for your favorite birthday sweets as part of our Birthday Ballot!

9. Receive resources to meet the physical, emotional and spiritual needs of the family.

10. Onsite free recycling of electronics and free shredding provided by Gone For Good, a program of United Ability from 9 a.m.-1 p.m.

11. Onsite King’s Home Thrift Store donation truck to take your donations and provide you with a tax-deductible receipt. Your donations will help the women and children at King’s Home.

12. In search of the perfect pet? Visit the Expo! and meet furry friends up for adoption. Talk with Shelby County Humane Society staff for insight on the kind of pet that is best for you and your family and how to best care for it.

Special thanks to our Title Sponsor Heritage Preschool, our Major Sponsors St. Vincent’s Nursing Nook, Shades Mountain Baptist Church, Vision Financial Group and Tiger-Rock Martial Arts and our Event Sponsors including Children’s of Alabama and Renewal by Andersen.

Our exhibitors include 101 Mobility, Alabama Credit Union, Big Brothers Big Sisters of Greater Birmingham, Brookdale University Park, Classical Conversations, The Center for Executive Leadership, Crafter’s House, Creative Mindz, Cookie Destiny, Cookie Cutter’s Children’s Haircuts, Epilepsy Foundation of Alabama, Emily’s Heirloom Pound Cakes, Galleria Woods, Grandma Betty’s Pepper Jelly, Gone For Good, a service of United Ability, Heritage Preschool, Heritage Christian Academy, Ironstream Media, Jimmie Hale Mission, Just Keep Smiling, Kevin Derryberry Music, King’s Home, Live Well with Stacy, Lou Lou’s, Linda Harper Music, Nothing Bundt Cakes, Pampered Chef, Prince of Peace Catholic School, Samaritan Counseling Centers of Greater Birmingham, Shades Mountain Baptist Church, STEPS Ministries, Shelby County Humane Society, Sav-A-Life Shelby, Simply Sheets, Tiger-Rock Martial Arts, Vacation Concierge, Valleydale Church, Vision Financial Group, WDJC, Worldsong Missions Place, WoodmenLife, Your Kids Urgent Care and Yucatan Candles.

Look forward to seeing you and your family as we Celebrate the Family & 20 Years of Good News!Visit us at www.birminghamchristian.com/expo for the most up to date and detailed schedule. †

December 27, 2019 by Laurie Stroud

Healthy Living

Lessons learned from Alcoholics Anonymous can often be applied with advantage by anyone. One such lesson is captured in the common saying, “One day at a time.” Underlying this admonition are two simple realities—we cannot change the past, and we cannot control the future. Also, implied by this slogan is the idea that if we can clear our minds of feelings and thoughts that are outside of our control, we can be more content, and we can be more present in the here and now. Living in the present lies at the core of the currently popular idea of mindfulness.

Even a cursory review of the feelings and thoughts that cause mental stress and discomfort reveals that most of them are rooted in the past or the future—not the present. Persistent anger, perhaps better identified as resentment, is clearly related to events or trauma that occurred in the past. Likewise, lingering disappointment, regret, or unmet expectations can preoccupy our thinking, and they are all related to the past. Anxiety, on the other hand, is almost always related to the future. Similarly, worry and unrealistic expectations placed on others are focused almost always on anticipated circumstances or events—not on the present.

How then can we corral our thinking and live more intentionally in the present? We begin by recognizing that, although feelings are real, they do not always reflect the truth. This means that choices and decisions based on feelings may not be in our best interest. We must move our decision-making to a higher level within the brain, namely, the area of the brain where we engage in rational thought. Three specific steps can help us achieve that “higher level” of thinking and, as a result, help us live with more serenity in the here and now.

We begin with a thorough inventory of our feelings. First, we write down a list of every person, institution, or agency with whom we have been or are angry. We highlight those that we think of frequently because these are resentments that harm only us—not the object of our anger. These are feelings that bubble up from the past. But remember, we cannot change the past. As part of this inventory, we then look at our fears. What are we afraid of? What are we worried about? These feelings are almost always related to the future. They pull our attention away from the present and can even preoccupy our thoughts to the extent that we make irrational decisions based on the future, which we cannot control. We then share our inventory with a trusted friend, who can help us clearly articulate which of these feelings are seated in the past and which are dangling out there in the future.

The second step is to deal with the resentments. They must be released. We must let go of the past issues that have weighed us down. The key operative word for “letting go” is forgiveness. We accept God’s forgiveness for the harm we have caused, and we forgive others who intentionally or unintentionally have hurt us. Forgiveness frees us from the tethers to the past.

The third step is to release our emotional concern for the future. This is done by coming to trust God for the outcome. Beginning with the acknowledgment that I cannot control the future, we come to trust—have faith—that God is in charge of the outcome, and that God has our best interests at heart. Trust in God’s sovereign control becomes a powerful antidote for worry and anxiety. We release obsessions with the future into the care of a loving God.

Following this simple formula is not easy. It requires work, and it is best done with the help of a trusted friend and perhaps even a skilled therapist. But I challenge you to imagine how freeing it would be to be untethered from the past and to be accepting of the future. It opens the door to living in the present—without resentment and without fear. After all, reality can only be lived in the present—not in the past and not in the future. Living in the present opens the door to personal peace and contentment, for which we can be eternally grateful.

-James M. (Jim) Long, III

Executive Director and Recovery Coach

Samaritan Counseling Centers of Greater Birmingham

[email protected]

Samaritan Counseling will be at the Celebrate the Family Expo! on January 11, 2020 with resources for you and your family, www.birminghamchristian.com/expo

December 29, 2019December 27, 2019 by Laurie Stroud

Parenting Points

If your teenager is becoming increasingly irresponsible, you will feel a lot of strong emotions. But, even in the worst of times, there are things you can do to be a positive influence on them. Here are four of the most important is working with them to establish goals and boundaries.

1. Set expectations for appropriate behavior. Start by not enabling wrong behavior, which is what you do if you cover up for them, fix their problems, or protect them from their bad decisions. It’s not worth it to argue about little things, but some things are worth drawing a line in the sand like obeying the law, being safe with a car, and no drugs under any circumstances.

2. Establish boundaries & enforce consequences. Make it clear they are responsible for their choices and the consequences. When they cross a boundary, be calm and strong rather than reacting in anger. If bad decisions escalate, so should consequences. If they continue ignoring boundaries, allow their choices to eventually propel them into counseling or a treatment program.

3. Talk to them about positive goals. When you are discouraged, hold onto God’s grace as your lifeline to sanity. Draw on your faith to call out the best in your teenager, even when you think they aren’t hearing it. Keep reminding them they have a good future and encourage them to pick a goal or two to move toward.

4. Stay together as a couple. Teens, especially those with substance issues, are experts at using one parent against the other. Being divided makes it harder for them to get better, and it can tear your marriage apart. Talk to and support each other. Before you can offer good guidance to your son or daughter, you need to have your act together as a couple.

Becoming proactive is part of being the best parent you can be. Learn more at www.stepsproactiveparenting.com. Get a free parenting assessment and information by contacting Steve Ward at [email protected].

-Steve C. Ward

Executive Director, STEPS Ministries

Author of STEPS: A Daily Journey to a Better Life

[email protected]

STEPS Proactive Parenting provides training, coaching, and online content to equip parents to help their kids improve their lives, grow closer to God, and prevent addiction. We look forward to meeting you at the Celebrate the Family Expo on January 11!

February 10, 2020December 27, 2019 by Laurie Stroud

Legal Matters

Presented by: Bradford & Holliman, Estate Planning

“Hindsight is 20/20” and here’s how to avoid a big “gotcha” with revocable living trusts in estate planning.

One family was so grateful their mother had created her revocable trust 18 years ago. As the mother’s health worsened, the daughter named as the co-trustee managed her mother’s finances, caregiving services, and other long-term care for many years. The trust became irrevocable when the mother died, and the daughter/trustee distributed the trust estate much faster with no probate process. The mother’s assets also did not become public record. The mother intentionally gave her daughter this authority because she knew her daughters might argue over the way she wanted things done. The mother knew her daughters well and the trustee was able to sell, give away, and distribute property without a great deal of hassle or legal battles. In short, the estate plan worked exactly as the mother wanted.

In contrast, I recall families who fell victim to a major “gotcha” after setting up trusts. They didn’t follow through on one of the most important aspects of the trust – making certain the assets are “in the trust” which means that the assets are titled to the trust. When you sign trust documents, your job of “funding the trust” is just the beginning. If you haven’t already gathered account and beneficiary information for all your assets, now is the time to get busy. After all, you know best what you own.

Beneficiaries of investment accounts, life insurance policies, 401Ks, and IRAs should be reviewed for accuracy and compliance with your estate plan. These assets can pass “outside the will”, but a trust can divide assets more evenly among several heirs. Real estate titles with joint tenants with right of survivorship also pass “outside the will.” If not titled correctly, you’ll have to calculate carefully to keep the cost bases of items in and outside of your trust equitable, and you may be forced into probate.

Burial plots, cars, trucks, and recreational vehicles are often overlooked and not properly placed in the trust through their titles. Most estate plans with a trust also have a “pour-over will” to distribute any assets that were accidentally left outside of the trust, but it triggers the probate process and makes all the work and cost of setting up the trust less effective.

If you have any questions, talk to your estate planning lawyer who knows the full scope of your individual and family situation.

-Melanie B. Holliman, JD

Partner at Bradford & Holliman

Estate Planning, Trusts & Special Needs

205-663-0281

www.bradfordholliman.com

No representation is made that the quality of the legal service to be performed is greater than the quality of service performed by other lawyers.

December 27, 2019 by Laurie Stroud

Money Matters

Presented by: Vision Financial Group,www.vision-financialgroup.com

IRA contribution limits. The maximum amount you can contribute to a traditional IRA or a Roth IRA in 2020 is $6,000 (or 100% of your earned income, if less), unchanged from 2019. The maximum catch-up contribution for those ages 50 or older remains at $1,000. You can contribute to both a traditional IRA and a Roth IRA in 2020, but your total contributions can’t exceed these annual limits.

Traditional IRA income limits. If you are not covered by an employer retirement plan, your contributions to a traditional IRA are generally fully tax deductible. For those who are covered by an employer plan, the income limits for determining the deductibility of traditional IRA contributions in 2020 have increased. If your filing status is single or head of household, you can fully deduct your IRA contribution up to $6,000 ($7,000 if you are age 50 or older) in 2020 if your modified adjusted gross income (MAGI) is $65,000 or less (up from $64,000 in 2019). If you’re married and filing a joint return, you can fully deduct up to $6,000 ($7,000 if you are age 50 or older) in 2020 if your MAGI is $104,000 or less (up from $103,000 in 2019).

Roth IRA income limits. The income limits for determining how much you can contribute to a Roth IRA have increased for 2020. If your filing status is single or head of household, you can contribute the full $6,000 ($7,000 if you are age 50 or older) to a Roth IRA if your MAGI is $124,000 or less (up from $122,000 in 2019). And if you’re married and filing a joint return, you can make a full contribution if your MAGI is $196,000 or less (up from $193,000 in 2019). (Again, contributions can’t exceed 100% of your earned income.)

Employer retirement plans. Most of the significant employer retirement plan limits for 2020 have also increased. The maximum amount you can contribute (your “elective deferrals”) to a 401(k) plan is $19,500 in 2020 (up from $19,000 in 2019). This limit also applies to 403(b) and 457(b) plans, as well as the Federal Thrift Plan. If you’re age 50 or older, you can also make catch-up contributions of up to $6,500 to these plans in 2020 (up from $6,000 in 2019). (Special catch-up limits apply to certain participants in 403(b) and 457(b) plans).

-Hal B. Holland, Jr., RFC®

Vision Financial Group

4505 Pine Tree Circle,

Birmingham, AL 35243

205-970-4909

This material was prepared by MarketingPro, Inc., and does not necessarily represent the views of the presenting party, nor their affiliates. Investment Advisor representative of Investment Advisors, a Registered Investment Advisor and a division of ProEquities, Inc. Securities offered through ProEquities, Inc., a Registered Broker-Dealer, Member FINRA & SIPC. Vision Financial Group, Inc. is independent of ProEquities, Inc.

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