Special Feature
How often do you look back at the end of the day and think, “Today was a good day. I completed everything on my checklist.” You roll over, kiss your spouse goodnight, then realize quality time and meaningful conversations with your mate never occurred. Your agenda consumes your time and energy. Without fail, the hectic cycle continues. Before you know it, it seems your marriage is tumbling downward because you were not mindful of your mate’s need for companionship.
Drifting Away. Drifting is subtle. Work and home life may appear balanced until you receive an extra work assignment, accept a volunteer opportunity, and join a third Bible study. On-going home duties and scattered outside commitments may overshadow the priority of your marriage. Over time, the needs of your spouse can drift beyond your view. Emotional disconnection is another example of drifting. Words are spoken that hurt to the core, and the one who caused the pain appears unaware of the wound. No compassion is shown. In this situation, the couple should acknowledge the hurt and forgive before the relationship unravels. Is your spouse an afterthought? Inattentiveness, selfishness, and working too much are some reasons couples drift apart. When these behaviors become commonplace, the results can be damaging. Keep in mind your spouse wants to feel more important than your schedule.
Cruising Toward. Redirect your attention to the basics. Listen and share potential dreams and goals. Have day-to-day and in-depth conversations. Replace boredom with excitement. Try this idea: Create a list of unfulfilled adventures. Put them on the calendar, outline your adventure course, and fulfill them one by one. As couples spend valuable time together, they discover new hobbies while developing memories and intimacy. The anticipation of sharing new and future bonding opportunities escalates to outward expressions of affection. Husbands and wives should also consider their mate’s concerns as they cruise toward togetherness to reap the joys of pleasing their mate. Philippians 2:4 ESV states, “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” Jesus modeled unselfishness by choosing to deny His will and elevating the needs of sinners above Himself. Philippians 2:8 ESV says, “And being found in human form, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.”
Working hard to have a satisfying marriage is worth doing whatever is necessary. When couples choose mindfulness and make themselves available to each other, it produces deep trust and lasting love.
-Vanessa M. Jones
Vice President & Co-founder of Biblical Marriage Institute
www.BiblicalMarriageInstitute.org
@biblicalmarriageinstitute
