Healthy Living
A distracted driver swerves in front of you. You yell, “Stay in your lane!” In marriage, these words, spoken or held back, reveal the inner thoughts of the heart. What happens when your husband veers off from his area of expertise and does something to cause a fender bender in your marriage? Consider how your strengths and deficiencies are necessary in marriage. Keep in mind it is not always the large things that cause marital frustrations, such as neglecting to pay the mortgage. Sometimes, it is the small things. To illustrate, you put rolls in the oven to warm up, then forget about them until the smoke detector goes off, leaving mounds of black ash. Here are a couple of truths to consider when one of you wanders beyond your area of knowledge or experience.
Recognize You Are Different. Not all roads are made the same. Some roads are made of gravel, asphalt, or brick; others consist of dirt or cobblestone. The road has one purpose, no matter the composition—to help you travel from one place to the other. The same is true of you and your husband. Though different, you are both important and useful in your marriage. Neither you nor your mate were created as a reprint. God designed you to process in unique ways. Understanding this simple truth can help you navigate the differences. When one of you moves outside your place of comfort, give each other room for error and practice forgiveness, just as Christ forgave you. Colossians 3:13 states, “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
Recognize You Are Not Always Right. Ouch! Is that statement hard to accept? Who wants to be wrong? It feels better to be right. To admit fault requires a healthy dose of humility. When you or your spouse get on the wrong side, use it as an opportunity for growth and move forward. Bear in mind human beings are imperfect. Practice Colossians 3:14, which encourages love and unity. Stay alert. Discord arises when you least expect it. Realize one of you will change lanes and cause a crash that disrupts marital harmony. Avoid inflicting verbal wounds when mistakes are made. Instead, pursue the common goal of peace. When you drift off, steer your marriage back on course.
Laugh together when you can and stay in your lane for a smooth and peaceful ride.
-Vanessa M. Jones
Vice President & Co-founder of Biblical Marriage Institute
@biblicalmarriageinstitute
