Why Don’t They Like ME? How to deal with negative comments on your church’s posts.

June 25, 2019 by Birmingham Christian Family

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Church Leaders

Your church is hitting social media with everything you have. You are sharing posts. You aren’t relying on Sunday services to give you all of your content. You are interacting with people that comment. You are really doing social media the correct way, but then the worst happens. You get a dreaded negative comment. It happens to even the best congregations, but how do you deal with it?

First, don’t panic. When you are in the public arena, you are not going to please everyone all of the time. Before you do anything, read the comment and ask yourself “does this have merit?” If it is constructive criticism or something that you are already addressing, publicly thank them for their comment and let them know that their complaint is something that is being handled. If the comment is something that can’t be easily handled (like an issue with church theology or church policy), you may need to take more time with it. Once again, thank them for their feedback on the public comment. Apologize for them not being happy, but encourage them to try the church again. Then reach out privately through a direct message (or if they are a church member, actually talk to them) and get more details about why they are unhappy. On a one-to-one level, you can go into a deeper discussion. Even if you can’t actually fix the issue, just being heard can go a long way toward helping to ease those negative feelings from the commenter.

When do you delete a comment? Mostly, this makes things worse. It creates the appearance that you are hiding something or trying to avoid investigation. The only exceptions are the use of profanity or directed personal attacks at an individual. In those cases, delete the post and immediately reach out to the person explaining what happened. Let them know that they have been heard (which is mainly what they want).

In the end, social media can be a great way to expand your church’s reach during the week. It can enrich lives and help to spread the gospel in those hours when you do not have a worship service. Sometimes negativity can get involved, but if you deal with it with a little grace, you can keep a follower and strengthen your online community at the same time.

Mark Harvard, Director of Communications

Clearbranch UMC, www.clearbranch.org

June 25, 2019 by Birmingham Christian Family

Church Leaders

Prince of Peace (POP) Catholic Church’s homework helpers ministry recently gave away over 750 new and like new books to 25 parish children in their tutoring ministry. These students attended the ministry’s free Wednesday evening or Sunday afternoon one-hour sessions that were held at Prince of Peace from January through May. The books were donated by parishioners and the school library, sorted by grade level, and packed into boxes marked with the students’ names. The children were absolutely thrilled to receive the books, just in time for the lazy days of summer.

This new ministry was created to serve parish children of all ages who needed assistance with their school work. Some needed help with sounding out words and some needed help with physics. As the ministry progressed through the winter, volunteers discovered that many of the children did not have many recreational reading books at home nor easy access to the public library. So, a plea went out for books and the parish responded, donating over 750 books between Palm Sunday and Easter.

All the 35 tutoring volunteers were age 21 or older and were required to submit to a background check and complete the Diocese of Birmingham’s youth protection certification program before beginning their duties. Many were teachers, or former teachers, some were university professors. All were generous with their time and willing to share their talents in this new service ministry which will resume its Wednesday evening and Sunday afternoon tutoring sessions this fall. †

June 24, 2019 by Birmingham Christian Family

Best Books

Birmingham’s Denise George co-authored Called to Forgive with Rev. Anthony Thompson. George is the wife of the founding Dean of Samford University’s Beeson Divinity School, Dr. Timothy George.

On the evening of June 17, 2015, Myra Thompson led a Wednesday night Bible study in the basement of her historic Charleston church. As a newly licensed minister, this was the first time she would lead the class. While reading a passage from Mark’s Gospel about the parable of the sower, a young man entered the room and sat down to join them. A congregant noticed he was without a Bible and handed him one. When the session was over, the group stood to dismiss with prayer. As the group recited the Lord’s Prayer, with heads bowed and eyes closed, the young visitor who had spent the last hour with the study group pulled out a legally purchased firearm and began shooting. Nine people died that night at Emanuel A.M E. Church, the victims of a hate crime by a Confederate flag waving white supremacist who hated blacks, Jews, immigrants, Muslims, Hispanics, and gays. Among the dead was Myra, her body riddled by bullets and her study notes stained with blood.

Anthony Thompson

In his new release, Called to Forgive, Myra’s husband shares his grief over the loss of his wife and his subsequent choice to publicly and privately extend forgiveness to the man who wrecked so many lives that awful night in Charleston. For Rev. Anthony Thompson, the decision to forgive was not only required of him as a follower of Jesus, it was also a path toward healing. Myra’s killer did not repent for her murder. He expressed no remorse and explicitly stated he would do it again if he was given the opportunity. Still, Anthony forgave his wife’s killer – extending unilateral forgiveness to the undeserving and unrepentant. In so doing, Anthony echoed Jesus’ prayer from the cross for his own murderers, asking the Father to forgive his tormentors even as they killed him.

Denise George

The Charleston shooter killed nine worshipers that summer evening at Emanuel, firing his weapon exactly seventy-seven times into the bodies of innocent men and women as they prayed together. Is such a man beyond redemption? Should a man who fires seventy-seven bullets into a Bible Study group be offered forgiveness? Anthony Thompson believes Jesus gave us the answer. When Jesus was asked how many times we should forgive those who wrong us, he cryptically replied with a number. Seventy and seven.

–Darrel Holcombe, Owner
Sanctuary Christian Books and Gifts
Colonial Promenade, Alabaster

205-663-2370

June 23, 2019 by Birmingham Christian Family

Publisher’s Note

Looking for a Great Read this Summer?

Pick Up the Word!

Interviewing Kathie Lee Gifford for our cover story this month, I could not help but get caught up in her excitement of being a student of God’s Word. “The Bible is our treasure map,” she said and I knew exactly what she meant. The more time we spend reading God’s Word, memorizing His Word and applying it to our lives, the deeper our relationship with Him becomes. What greater treasure is there?! She described it as God’s Word settling deep in her soul.

I can remember years ago when I decided to commit time each day in God’s Word and in prayer with Him. I found it hard to make the time and then to stay focused. For me, starting early and journaling to God about the Words I read, developed into a wonderful conversation I look forward to every morning. Even in the most difficult of deserts, the Word gives me the hope and direction I need.

As it says in Psalm 107:20, “He (God) sent out His Word and healed them; He rescued them from the grave.” I am so thankful for God’s Word and the power in His Word to heal me! and heal you!

Pick up the best read there ever was or will be- God’s Word! And share it with a friend!

-Laurie Stroud

Founder, The Christian Family Publication, Inc.

www.BirminghamChristian.com

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Celebrating 19 Years of Good News!

“Look to the Lord & His Strength, Seek His face always.” 1 Chronicles 16:11

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May 28, 2019 by Birmingham Christian Family

Mission Makers

CEO of the Presbyterian Home for Children (PHFC), Doug Marshall, is seen here with some of the children the ministry serves.

The Civil War was one of the most tragic, destructive periods in the history of the United States. In the aftermath of the war, the Presbyterian Church of Alabama answered the call of families in need by establishing a home for orphaned children. Now, more than 150 years later, the Presbyterian Home for Children (PHFC) in Talladega, Ala. has grown into a much larger ministry focused on helping children and women in crisis from across Alabama.

“What we do here is rooted in the book of Isaiah,” says Doug Marshall, CEO of the organization, “the verse about secure dwellings.” Since starting as an orphanage in 1868, PHFC has grown to include a broad spectrum of programs designed to help children and women grow in their faith in a safe, nurturing environment. The ministry includes residential care for homeless children and their female caretakers, a transitional program for young women, life skills training, and a school—among many things.

“My people will abide in a peaceful habitation, in secure dwellings, and in quiet resting places.”Isaiah 32:18

Miss Alabama Jessica Proctor visited Ascension Leadership Academy to read with the students.

Many of the women and children who enter the Secure Dwellings program come to the Talladega campus from abusive situations—often with nothing more than a trash bag to carry their personal belongings. An organization in Tuscaloosa regularly donates suitcases to the program. Felicia Ayers Storey, a long-term leader in the ministry, says, “They may arrive that way but we make sure they leave here with dignity when the time comes.”

Often, teenage girls suffering from extreme abuse and neglect reach the Presbyterian Home from state services like the Department of Human Resources (DHR) as the Home operates a residential therapeutic treatment program for these girls. In 1997, the ministry opened a fully accredited AdvancED school to serve children in need, most of whom were lagging far behind in their studies due to situations beyond their control. The Ascension Leadership Academy, as it is now known, is a private Christian school for grades K-12 housed in space provided by the First Presbyterian Church in Talladega. “Some of the children can be as much as two years behind,” says Linda Harris. “But we are able to help them catch up. Some of them even get back on track in one academic year or less.” Harris serves as Director of Education at Ascension.

To learn more about the services and program of PHFC visit www.phfc.org

May 28, 2019 by Birmingham Christian Family

Education Extra

Walker’s gingerbread house creations are constructed by individuals at Isaiah 55, a ministry in Mexico dedicated to educating the deaf. Learn more at www.forevergingerbread.com.

Have you ever considered running a business, working a full-time job, and taking care of three children? Birmingham’s Mary Martha Walker made this happen. Walker, the founder and owner of Forever Gingerbread, had the idea of constructing a wooden and reusable gingerbread house for her daughter’s birthday. What turned out being a successful birthday party, quickly turned into a business within the Walker’s home.

As the business quickly took off, Walker realized she desired this business to be bigger than within their family. Their search brought them to Reynosa, Mexico with a ministry called Isaiah 55. This ministry is a vocational program that provides educational opportunities for the deaf through providing the skills needed to have a trade. The individuals of Isaiah 55 construct the wooden and reusable gingerbread houses that Forever Gingerbread sells and the profits earned are given to Isaiah 55 to continue in their ministry in educating the deaf.

Mary Martha Walker’s first gingerbread house was constructed for her daughter’s birthday party. Today her creativity is helping minister to those in need, www.isaiah55.org.

This story of how Walker began her business is an incredible testament to the woman that she is, desiring to give hope and to change lives. Her testament of faith is exactly how Forever Gingerbread decided upon their mission statement. Forever Gingerbread exists to bring God glory by partnering with the local community through vocational training, therefore creating hope. The Walker family lives out this mission in their everyday lives through their care and kindness to those in the community. As a junior at Samford University, living eight hours away from home, the Walker family has truly been my home away from home.

Walker not only impacts the community through running Forever Gingerbread, but in addition, she is also a full-time kindergarten teacher at Briarwood Christian School. At work, she continues to use her God-given gifts and creativity to impact the lives of students and families. At home, she has three beautiful children and a wonderful husband who are her biggest advocates. Walker, along with her family, are impacting the lives of people each day through their heart for others and through their story.

My challenge to you as readers is to never be afraid to take a step into the unknown because you never know where God will lead. Walker never let her fear of failure and beginning a business keep her from pursuing the work of the Lord. Forever Gingerbread continues to grow and the Walkers, along with myself, cannot wait to see where the Lord will lead them. What is your next? What do you feel like God may be calling you to do?

Kinley Hales

May 24, 2019 by Birmingham Christian Family

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Parenting Points

A great fear for many Christian parents is their child walking away from faith and choosing to no longer believe. For many kids who grew up in the church, there comes a time when they must determine what they believe for themselves. In this moment, either the faith of their parents becomes the faith that they choose to embrace, or they choose to believe something different.

As a child grows into the teenage years, they are going through a process of individuation. Your child is beginning to forge their own way to determine who they are, what they value, and how they are going to choose to live their life. It is in these moments when questions about faith, beliefs, and doubts can begin to surface.

In their recent book Growing With: Every Parent’s Guide to Helping Teenagers and Young Adults Thrive in Their Faith, Family, and Future, Kara Powell and Steven Argue suggest that “it’s not doubt that is toxic to faith; it’s silence” (p. 116). So how can you as a parent become a conversation partner for your student when they are experiencing doubt:

Realize that You Don’t Have All the Answers. When it comes to engaging children’s doubts about faith, often parents feel like they need to have all the answers. Though God’s Word is written to point us to Jesus the Savior, it is not meant to be an answer book for all of your student’s questions about God that are being fueled by their doubts. Doubts are conquered through the work of the Spirit opening your child’s eyes to faith and not by your theologically correct answers.

Understand that Growth in Faith Is a Process. When we think of growth in grace, we think that we are gradually ascending the mountain of faith. The truth, however, is that our and our children’s walk with Jesus looks more like a roller coaster than a hike up Everest. In the dips in the ride seen in periods of doubt, we know that God is still writing the story.

See Doubt as an Open Door for God’s Work. Leading your child from doubt to faith is something that only the Holy Spirit can do. Doubt is a wrestling with God through which your student is asking the hard questions. We worship a God that is bigger than our greatest questions. He loves your child more than you do, and though we may not see it, He is at work.

Dr. Ben Birdsong serves as the Minister of Students at Meadow Brook Baptist, and also writes and blogs at www.benbirdsong.com

May 29, 2019May 24, 2019 by Birmingham Christian Family

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Money Matters

Do bad money habits constrain your financial progress? Many people fall into the same financial behavior patterns, year after year. If you sometimes succumb to these financial tendencies, now is as good a time as any to alter your behavior.

#1: Lending money to family & friends. You may know someone who has lent a few thousand to a sister or brother, a few hundred to an old buddy, and so on. Generosity is a virtue, but personal loans can easily transform into personal financial losses for the lender.

#2: Spending more than you make: Living beyond your means, living on margin, or whatever you wish to call it- it is a path toward significant debt. Wealth is seldom made by buying possessions; today’s flashy material items may become the garage sale junk of the future.

#3: Saving little or nothing: Good savers build emergency funds, have money to invest and compound, and leave the stress of living paycheck to paycheck behind.

#4: Living without a budget: You may make enough money that you don’t feel you need to budget. In truth, few of us are really that wealthy. In calculating a budget, you may find opportunities for savings and detect wasteful spending.

#5: Frivolous spending: Advertisers can make us feel as if we have sudden needs; needs we must respond to, or ones that can only be met via the purchase of a product. See their ploys for what they are. Think twice before spending impulsively.

#6: Not using cash often enough: No one can deny that the world runs on credit, but that doesn’t mean your household should. Pay with cash as often as your budget allows.

#7: Inadequate financial literacy: Is the financial world boring? Too many people, it can seem that way. The Wall Street Journal is not exactly Rolling Stone, and The Economist is hardly light reading. You don’t have to start there, however. There are great, readable, and even, entertaining websites filled with useful financial information. Reading an article per day on these websites could help you greatly increase your financial understanding.

#8: Not contributing to retirement plans: The earlier you contribute to them, the better; the more you contribute to them, the more compounding of those invested assets you may potentially realize.

#9: DIY retirement strategy: Those who save for retirement without the help of professionals may leave themselves open to abrupt, emotional investing mistakes and other oversights. Another common tendency is to vastly underestimate the amount of money needed for the future. Few people have the time to amass the knowledge and skill set possessed by a financial services professional with years of experience. Instead of flirting with trial and error, see a professional for insight.

-Bill Dowell

Vision Financial Group, Inc.

4505 Pine Tree Circle, Birmingham, 35243

205-970-4909, www.vision-financialgroup.com

Investment Advisory services offered through Investment Advisors, a division of ProEquities, Inc., a Registered Investment Advisor. Securities offered through ProEquities, Inc., a registered broker-dealer and member of FINRA & SIPC. Vision Financial Group, Inc. is independent of ProEquities, Inc. Copyright 2006-2018 Broadridge Investor Communication Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.

May 24, 2019 by Birmingham Christian Family

Legal Matters

Congratulations to all who are tying the knot this month! After the honeymoon, you need to put estate planning on the top of your “To Do” list. One of the best investments for cash wedding presents is a complete estate plan. Many newlyweds do not yet have wills, powers of attorney, or healthcare directives, so now is the time to get those in place. Otherwise, Alabama state law will decide who gets what if one of you were to die – and that’s not usually what you would prefer.

As you make decisions about joint bank accounts and credits cards, keep in mind that in many cases, keeping pre-marital assets in separate names makes sense. It’s especially common to keep accounts and assets in separate names when seniors remarry. Many people choose to keep family inheritances separate so the inheritances can be used for specific purposes.

Newlyweds should check the beneficiaries of investment accounts such as 401Ks, IRAs, life insurance policies both personal and any provided by your employers, pension plans, and the titles on any real estate. Most of the beneficiary designations on these accounts override a will, so it’s best for the two of you to sit down together to review the full scope of your newly merged estates. Be sure to talk through secondary beneficiaries, too. We certainly hope it never happens, but a couple could die at the same time in a car wreck or a tornado.

If your wedding has created a blended family, you also need to carefully review the specifics of divorce decrees as you update your estate documents. A blended family needs experienced legal help in making sure that their estate plans not only abide by any divorce decrees, but that the plans do not inadvertently disinherit one partner’s children.

For your own records, develop a joint net worth statement which specifies whose names are on each asset, who the beneficiaries are, all account names and numbers, all loans and mortgages, as well as your attorney, accountant, and financial advisor contacts. We hope that many years down the road, you and your spouse will have fun looking back on your original net worth and will appreciate the good lives you’ve shared. Hope your wedding is wonderful and your marriage is long and blessed!

Now, start organizing your “To Do” list and your asset list for after the honeymoon and reach out to an experienced and qualified estate lawyer.

-Melanie B. Holliman, JD

Partner, Bradford & Holliman

Estate Planning, Trusts, & Special Needs

www.bradfordholliman.com

No representation is made that the quality of the legal service to be performed is greater than the quality of service performed by other lawyers.

May 24, 2019 by Birmingham Christian Family

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Encouraging Word

Referring to born again believers, I Corinthians 12:27 says, “Now you are Christ’s body, and individually members of it.” I Corinthians 6:19-20 says, “Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, therefore glorify God in your body.”

I am not sure all of what that means but I would like to offer some suggestions. You have heard it said that we are to be the hands and feet of Jesus, I would add that we should also be the eyes and ears of Jesus and the head (mind of Christ); having His heart of compassion and a mouth that speaks the words of Christ.

Hands represent activity; the things we do; Godly works we perform. Ephesians 2:10, “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works….”

Feet represent the places we go. Wherever we go we are to represent Jesus. II Corinthians 5:20 refers to us as being ambassadors for Christ. Matthew 5:13-14 mentions that we are to be salt of the earth and the light of the world.

Eyes refer to sight. We are to see the needs of those around us and take advantage of the opportunity to serve (minister) to others. In Matthew 20:28, Jesus said He didn’t come to be served, but to serve.

Ears represent hearing and being sensitive to the hurts, struggles and challenges of those in our world. Romans 12:15 says, “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.”

Head suggests that we are to have the mind of Christ. I Corinthians 2:16 says, “. . . But we have the mind of Christ.” We are to focus on Godly thoughts. Philippians 4:8 instructs us to discipline our minds and think on things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and praise worthy.

Heart represents Jesus’ heart of compassion. Colossians 3:12 says, “. . . put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”

Mouth refers to us speaking the words of Jesus. Colossians 3:17 says, “and whatever you do in word of deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus…” Ephesians 4:29 says, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

Let’s strive to be the “body of Christ!”

-Tony Cooper

Celebrating 28 Years of Service as Exec. Director, Jimmie Hale Mission

Why Don’t They Like ME? How to deal with negative comments on your church’s posts.

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