Someone once asked me if I was a “relationship expert.” When the group I was with stopped laughing, I had to explain that, no, I am far from being an expert in pretty much anything. They then followed up with “then why are you teaching at this marriage conference?” This very fun back and forth ended with me simply explaining that what I love to do is share with anyone about the things I have learned, have put into practice, and have further developed to help any brothers or sisters who God puts in my path. Regarding marriage, I have been teaching and hosting events to strengthen couples for years and have formulated my own outlook and theories that might help create a breakthrough in understanding for someone wanting an advantage. Please understand my research is simply from a regular guy who has taken to heart things from the Mark Gungor, Emerson Eggerich, and Gary Chapman’s of the world and put them into practice.
The first thing I learned was that men and women are in fact very different. Both human, both equally valuable, but different in how life is approached in basic ways
Men like things, women like people
Men are hunters, women are gatherers
Men protect, women nurture
Men have sex, women make love
It is amazing how many men and women resist recognizing or discussing their differences. But these differences are the fingerprints of our actual behavior, not what society tells us we are supposed to be like, but what we are actually like. Understand, these behaviors are neither good nor bad. They are simply who we are. Birds fly, frogs croak, horses sleep standing up, and men and women do what they do. A loving intimate marriage relationship will leave room for gender differences without assuming the other is wrong. It is from this assumption I created the “S-3” concept, a simple teaching that allows for couples to recognize and relate to three very similar things that are immensely important to both and yet viewed completely different from the others perspective. These three things are:
Make no mistake, men are just as sensitive as women, but in a very different way. Security, whether it be physical, emotional, financial, is very high on everyone’s list. How it is viewed in a day to day walk is where the disconnects can be amplified. Many times, these disconnects are unnecessary. Reconnecting with basic understanding of the healthy differences between spouses can be awesome for couples when these fundamental differences are understood. Same with sex. As we appreciate actual differences, it makes a couple stronger and they have a path to witness breakthroughs. It’s a wonderful thing. A great marriage is worth the effort.
Talk Radio Host, WXJC 101.1FM & AM850 weekdays 3-6 p.m.
Pastor, Baptist Church at Lay Lake.