Special Feature
Do you sometimes wonder if you married above your pay grade because your wife is a Proverbs 31 woman? Be encouraged. God has called you to lead an excellent wife. Your challenge is to live up to this calling. Here are three ways to gauge your efforts to be a Proverbs 31 husband.
1. Trust Your Wife. Proverbs 31:11 ESV states, “The heart of her husband trust in her, and he will have no lack of gain.” Does your wife have full access to what you hold dear? Besides joint ownership of material goods, does she have access to your fears? Your hurts? Your secrets? A Proverbs 31 husband trusts his wife to manage the household. He also values her as his trusted companion. He seeks her counsel for major decisions. He solicits her prayers before facing the challenges of the day. He confesses his sins to her (James 5:16). Because of this vulnerability, his “gain” extends beyond the material to the relational.
2. Have Standing in the Community. Proverbs 31:23 ESV declares, “Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land.” This verse spotlights a husband whose integrity and wisdom are bolstered by the good name of his wife. What is your reputation in the community? Do others seek your guidance? Does your presence garner respect driven by love, not fear? The Proverbs 31 husband has his wife’s respect long before he earns it in public. He leads his wife and family in the ways of God. He cherishes and loves his wife even when she is having a bad day.
3. Remind Your Wife She Has No Rival. Proverbs 31:28b-29 ESV says, “…he praises her: Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.” Comparing your wife to other women is inadvisable. However, affirming her as God’s purposeful gift to you is a powerful expression of love. If asked to describe her, how many laudable attributes can you name? Your list will not surprise her if it matches what you tell her at home. A Proverbs 31 husband adores his wife’s beauty with and without makeup. He cheers the loudest for her accomplishments. He listens to her with unimpeded attentiveness. She sleeps with ease, knowing he has eyes only for her.
Becoming a Proverbs 31 husband is not a goal to attain but rather a calling to fulfill. The man who accepts this calling possesses a strength of character that needs no label. His quiet confidence comes from faith in Jesus. If this describes you, then you are that man.
-Dr. Alonza Jones
Writer, Speaker, and Teacher
President and Co-founder, Biblical Marriage Institute
Follow @biblicalmarriageinstitute
