My husband calls me a “schoolie.” I loved being a student, I loved being a teacher… I would go get another degree right now. Post-grad school I taught tenth grade at Briarwood Christian School, and after some settling in, found the job to be a source of great joy. My days were filled with hilarious interactions, heart connection with my “ladies lunch girls,” and moments of knowing God used me. It was my first year not going back to school that really twinged— the year I transitioned to motherhood.
The cultural expectation was clear: I would go from a job I loved to a job I would love more. Unfortunately, that’s just not what happened—at least initially. My newborn days were fear-soaked, over-analyzed, and comparison-driven. I felt equipped for teenagers, but needless to say, my daughter didn’t come out as one. It was as if I was drowning every single day, clumsy and helpless with an infant in my arms. I began to believe some very deep-seated lies. I believed I wasn’t cut out for this, my husband and I had made a mistake, or God had made a mistake. Evil whispered in my ear in a raw emotional time and I bought in. I began to forget who I was in Christ. Because we serve a merciful Father, these lies have been undone in my heart, but really only recently—and my oldest is now 5. They cut deep, had consequences of disconnect from my young family, and required much repair to be done. But for God… He met me, and he was sufficient.
New mamas have loads of logistical questions in this age of mommy analysis. Now when I hear a question about sleep schedules, feeding, or tantrums, I want to listen for the question behind the question. Because there’s likely another one there, one which cuts far deeper, sounding more like, “Am I doing a good job?” “If I try my best and still mess this up, what does that say about me?” or “What does that say about God?” These questions, the deep secret ones, are the questions my co-authors and I want to address in our new study, Engaging Motherhood, Heart Preparation for a Holy Calling. We want the eyes of a new mom to be lifted from the stifling how-to’s onto Christ’s sufficiency in meeting her every need along the way. So if you are a new mama, or you’re loving on one right now, would you remind her God’s got her? Even if she’s not asking… she’s asking.
— Holly Mackle is Co-Author of Engaging Motherhood, Heart Preparation for a Holy Calling, a graduate of Samford University with Masters degrees in Spanish Literature and Secondary Education, and a regular contributor to enCourage—the Presbyterian Church in America (PCA) women’s blog.
