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It’s easy for parents to make mistakes when we are angry, scared, or frustrated.
And when one of our kids is going down the path toward addiction, we will feel all of those emotions. Strongly, and likely over and over. During those tough times, parenting can be hard, and we all make mistakes. When we do, we can recover from them. And if we are thoughtful about our parenting approach, we can learn to make less of them. Here are a few of the mistakes many parents make:
Mistake: My kid is a screw-up, so I must be tough to teach him a lesson.
- Reality:If you use anger to win every battle, you will lose the war. Your kids will resent you for it, and it will make it harder for you to have a positive impact on them.
- Parenting step:Every child is designed by God, and there is hope for each one. Recognize their God-given strengths while calmly dealing with any problems they create.
Mistake: We shouldn’t let other people know about our problems.
- Reality:If you cover up their issues, you teach them that isolation is a way to address problems.
- Parenting step:Talk to someone and get help. Isolation is the worst thing you can do when there are issues with your kids. And they need to be talking to someone too.
Mistake: If I set boundaries or confront them, it will make them act out even more.
- Reality:If you let them do whatever they want without consequences, they learn impulsiveness, and the problems will get worse.
- Parenting step:Set boundaries with consequences and calmly, consistently enforce them.
Getting Some Help. STEPS Proactive Parenting provides training, coaching, and materials for parents to become intentional about protecting their kids from addictions. We can learn to raise our kids to be balanced emotionally, spiritually, and personally and, if we do, we can help prevent addiction.
Churches and organizations can visit www.StepsProactiveParenting.com to get information on what types of training and coaching are available for parents and how to start setting up a program that fits their needs, or they can simply contact Steve Ward. Parents can visit www.StepsProactiveParenting.com to receive the free weekly STEPS Ministries blog, learn about personal coaching options, and get information on seminars your church or organization can sponsor.
-Steve C. Ward
Executive Director, STEPS Ministries
Author of STEPS: A Daily Journey to a Better Life