10 Quick Tips for when your Marriage is Struggling

  1. Be honest. Instead of dismissing or denying the pain, choose to open up to your spouse about any struggles. Your honesty with your spouse may be the starting point for a journey of healing.
  2. Wrestle with God. You may or may not feel like praying right now. Engage God with honest prayers. Wrestle with Him through Scripture reading and prayer.
  3. Remember. One of the words used throughout the Old Testament is “remember.” God knew that His people were prone to forget and rely on feelings in their circumstances. There was a time when the marriage was alive and growing. Take time to remember.
  4. Focus on your own field. One of the most common toxins for tough times in marriage is to blame. “If he would just . . . ” “If she would stop . . . ” “Maybe I should have . . . ” Blame is our way of trying to make sense of the difficulty or assign “payment.” This only widens the marriage divide. Look in the mirror and ask yourself, “What can I do to grow through this?”
  5. Do not make any hasty decisions. When emotions run high, this is the worst time to make major decisions. Hasty decisions can be regretful decisions. Slow down and take small steps.
  6. Fight the enemy, not your spouse. Though you may feel like your spouse is an enemy, you have one enemy and his name is Satan. With a deep hatred of God and the institution of marriage, Satan wants to destroy your marriage and family. Funnel your anger toward him.
  7. Surround yourself with wise counsel. You need a few trusted companions who will listen and offer sound advice.
  8. Develop community in a local church. Churches are intended to be safe places for hurting people. You need a community of brothers and sisters who will love you through this season.
  9. Guard your heart and desires. A hurting marriage can be the perfect storm for an affair or addiction. Instead of moving toward your spouse, the temptation is to find validation from another. Guard your heart.
  10. Write a new chapter. God desires to use this season in your life and marriage to usher in something new. Turn the page, take up the pen, and ask God to write a new chapter.

 

      

marriage enrich.-Randy and Melody Hemphill 
Authors of the soon to be released marriage resource,
30 Days of Hope for a Hurting Marriage (New Hope Publishing) and founders of Birmingham based LIFE Ministries, a counseling ministry passionate for the hearts of men and women to be restored. Randy is also a Peer Pastor Leader for Beeson Divinity School.

 

 

Fill your Facebook feed with more good news from Birmingham Christian Family!
Click the like button below.