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You place an order at the drive-through, the cashier verifies it, you leave, and then realize something is missing. How do you respond? Do you go back and share a few choice words with the cashier, ask to speak with the manager, or conclude, “They are having a bad day,” and pray for them? Exceptional customer service in the marketplace is honorable and rare. However, selfless service in marriage should be abundant. Serving your spouse well provides great fulfillment. And yet, choosing to help is sometimes inconvenient, humbling, and thankless. With this in mind, which category below reflects your demeanor?
Self-Serve. Do you wake up and plan your day around your needs and desires? Do you offer assistance only when it benefits you? Does your spouse hesitate to ask for help because they believe you will refuse or procrastinate? The Bible says, “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others” (Philippians 2:3-4 ESV).
Full-Service. Do you give your best without holding back? Do you offer assistance before being asked? For example, do you help put away the laundry or wash the truck? Serving your spouse includes listening and talking, working alongside them, and giving them space. It is not degrading or enslaving. Some of life’s greatest joys come from sacrificing your desires for the benefit of others. In John 13:5, Jesus demonstrates how to serve by washing His disciples’ feet and then drying them with a towel from His waist. Washing feet was the duty of the lowest servants. Jesus chose to identify with the “least of these.”
God’s holy and beloved Son, Jesus, came as a humble servant. He could have demanded that people serve Him. Instead, He served with love. Matthew 20:28 states, “Just as the Son of Man [Jesus] did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.” The principle of serving is about showing honor. In marriage, you have many opportunities to serve. Show your care for your spouse by asking, “How can I help you today?” You display Christ’s character when you follow His example, as noted in Colossians 3:23-24. When you serve your spouse with love, without any requirements or expectations, you are serving Christ. Serve with honor!
-Vanessa M. Jones
Vice President & Co-founder of Biblical Marriage Institute
