Parenting Points
Doubts and questions from kids about faith are usually something that can strike fear into the heart of every parent. For the questions, the fear is not knowing the right answer. We dread having to explain that when it comes to faith, there are many things which we don’t have clear answers. For doubts, the fear is that our children will choose not to believe and walk with Jesus.
When these questions arise, our response to our kids is very important. Many likely grew up in church environments where we could not ask questions, express concerns, and wrestle with doubts. We were told to believe because that is what we should believe. For many children, these responses slammed the door on further conversation. Faith was defined as a place of clear canned answers that should be accepted without further conversation. These slamming-the-door responses to our kids do more harm than good. Research has shown that doubt is an important part of a child’s personal faith journey. Each person needs to wrestle with what they believe so that the faith that they have been taught from their parents can become their faith. Frequently, this happens through conversations involving questions and doubts.
In discussing effective faith transmission from parents to their kids, Duffy Robbins writes, “helping students to develop a real-life faith means helping students to flesh out their faith…to be put in a position that forces them to experience and explore their own faith in God.” Through doubts and questions, children are given the space to wrestle with their faith. In these moments, their faith can be strengthened even if the answers to the questions are that “we cannot understand God and His ways completely, but we know we can trust His heart to be faithful to us.” We need to create a safe space for their questions and doubts and be real with them about our struggles to believe and questions along the way. We can be faithful conversation partners for our kids as we seek to walk this road of faith together. Maybe our prayer for ourselves and our kids should be less for specific answers and like the man with the demon-possessed boy: “I believe; help my unbelief” (Mark 9:24 ESV). Our God meets us and our children amid our questions and doubts. We may find that His presence and power is better than the best answers we may desire.
-Dr. Ben Birdsong
Missions Minister at Christ Church Birmingham
Writer and Speaker
Duffy Robbins, The Ministry of Nurture: A Youth Workers Guide to Discipling Teenagers (Grand Rapids: Zondervan Publishing House, 1990), 160.
