Miracle Moments
Brought to you by: Community Partner Molly Maid of Birmingham, www.mollymaid.com/birmingham
“I sought the Lord, and He answered me; He delivered me from all my fears.” Psalm 34:4
I arrived at Big Oak Girls’ Ranch at the end of my 8th grade year as a very angry and sad adolescent. I was angry that my aunt could not get custody, sad that I wasn’t protected, discouraged because I didn’t feel wanted. The hardest admission is acknowledging my anger toward God during that season of my life.
I channeled all of my anger at whatever Big Oak placed in front of me – especially the four promises. When I was promised, “We love you,” I fought it. As much as I did truly love my houseparents, and as much as they showed their love for me, I avoided getting close to anyone because I was afraid. When I was promised, “We’ll never lie to you,” I gave them all of my truth, everything I could tell them about my past, and did so through negative behaviors, doubting their ability to follow through on their promises because believing an adult would not lie to me was beyond my imagination. When I was promised, “We’ll stick with you,” I never considered they would be my family through the highs and lows of my healing process no matter if I was living on the Ranch or not. It was so hard for me to see past where I was. When I was promised, “There are boundaries,” I crossed them often, struggling between wanting a different life for myself and wanting to push people away.
I struggled with this tension and the resulting hardships it caused for many years. Until, in a moment of enormous desperation, I turned to God and He answered. In addition, I have witnessed my houseparents and the staff at Big Oak continue to love me and remain active in my life. I made a promise to God to not give up, to choose the different life He wants for me and my family. It isn’t always easy to keep promises we make, but my life has been changed because of promises made and kept to me, and the promise I keep. I realized how Big Oak kept each one, not because it was their job, but because they saw me as valuable and worth it. I still matter to them. Through the process of working through my anger, I have realized I am truly loved.
-Rachel Pruitt Knight
