---
title: "10 Quick Tips for when your Marriage is Struggling"
date: 2016-09-09
author: "Laurie Stroud"
categories:
  - name: "Encouragement"
    url: "/category/news/spiritual/encouragement.md"
  - name: "Family"
    url: "/category/news/family.md"
  - name: "Marriage"
    url: "/category/news/family/marriage.md"
  - name: "Spiritual"
    url: "/category/news/spiritual.md"
---

# 10 Quick Tips for when your Marriage is Struggling

1. **Be honest**. Instead of dismissing or denying the pain, choose to open up to your spouse about any struggles. Your honesty with your spouse may be the starting point for a journey of healing.
2. **Wrestle with God**. You may or may not feel like praying right now. Engage God with honest prayers. Wrestle with Him through Scripture reading and prayer.
3. **Remember**. One of the words used throughout the Old Testament is “remember.” God knew that His people were prone to forget and rely on feelings in their circumstances. There was a time when the marriage was alive and growing. Take time to remember.
4. **Focus on your own field**. One of the most common toxins for tough times in marriage is to blame. “If he would just . . . ” “If she would stop . . . ” “Maybe I should have . . . ” Blame is our way of trying to make sense of the difficulty or assign “payment.” This only widens the marriage divide. Look in the mirror and ask yourself, “What can I do to grow through this?”
5. **Do not make any hasty decisions**. When emotions run high, this is the worst time to make major decisions. Hasty decisions can be regretful decisions. Slow down and take small steps.
6. **Fight the enemy, not your spouse**. Though you may feel like your spouse is an enemy, you have one enemy and his name is Satan. With a deep hatred of God and the institution of marriage, Satan wants to destroy your marriage and family. Funnel your anger toward him.
7. **Surround yourself with wise counsel**. You need a few trusted companions who will listen and offer sound advice.
8. **Develop community in a local church**. Churches are intended to be safe places for hurting people. You need a community of brothers and sisters who will love you through this season.
9. **Guard your heart and desires**. A hurting marriage can be the perfect storm for an affair or addiction. Instead of moving toward your spouse, the temptation is to find validation from another. Guard your heart.
10. **Write a new chapter**. God desires to use this season in your life and marriage to usher in something new. Turn the page, take up the pen, and ask God to write a new chapter.

*![marriage enrich.](https://birminghamchristian.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-09-at-12.16.58-PM.png)-Randy and Melody Hemphill  Authors of the soon to be released marriage resource,* 30 Days of Hope for a Hurting Marriage *(New Hope Publishing) and founders of Birmingham based LIFE Ministries, a counseling ministry passionate for the hearts of men and women to be restored. Randy is also a Peer Pastor Leader for Beeson Divinity School.*